Bringing a baby into your home is one of the most transformative experiences of your life. It changes everything - your priorities, your energy, and your ability to balance all the responsibilities you once handled with ease. If you’re finding yourself struggling to manage both your dog and your baby, know this: you are not alone, and rehoming your dog does not make you a bad person.
Many couples adopt a dog before having kids, believing it will prepare them for parenthood or that their pet will seamlessly integrate into family life once the baby arrives. While this works for some, for others, the reality is far more complicated.
That’s why I don’t recommend getting a dog before having children and why, if you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to consider rehoming your dog with love and responsibility.
My experience: the weight of love and guilt
We adopted our dog, Maya, when she was two years old from another family that could no longer give her the care she needed... Then nine months later I had our first baby, Lucas.
The stress of caring for Maya while navigating the newness of motherhood left me overwhelmed. I know, deep down, that we didn’t give her the kind of care she deserved. Looking back at photos, I see the sadness in her eyes. She was my companion through the trials of parenthood, and selfishly, I kept her. I couldn’t let her go. I needed her. She gave me comfort, companionship, and, in a way, permission to slow down - to rest on the couch and cuddle when everything else felt chaotic.
Maya was beyond patient with our children - the best nanny I could have ever asked for. But I know in my heart she would have been happier with a family that wasn’t so stretched thin. I thanked her every day for putting up with me, for putting up with all of us. She was an anchor of love in our home when we needed it the most.
It's been three years since her passing and I am still giving myself space to not fill the void of energy where she once took up. When our animals leave our households - there is a gap of energy where we once were attending to their needs and they were giving energy to us. If you find yourself in a similar frequency: feeling the remembering autopilot of when you would let your dog out, go on a walk, meal times, etc. - I invite you to breathe into the sensations.
Their presence not only took up space in your home - daily activities, but also in your mental and emotional mind. Give yourself time to grieve, to settle into life without them, and trust they know their time with you was all part of a divine connection to be together for that phase of life... whether it was a few weeks or years.
Dogs and babies have conflicting needs
Dogs thrive on consistency, routine, and predictable attention. Babies? Not so much. Newborns demand constant care, and sleep deprivation alone can make meeting your dog's needs feel impossible. If your dog has been your "first baby," the sudden shift in attention can cause stress, anxiety, and even behavioral issues. What used to be simple - daily walks, training, playtime - can quickly become overwhelming when you're navigating early parenthood years. Years.
The reality of time and energy constraints
Before having kids, it’s easy to assume you’ll have the bandwidth to care for both a baby and a dog. But when you're running on three hours of sleep, just getting out the door can feel impossible. Dogs (especially high-energy breeds and puppies) require daily exercise, engagement, and consistency. If they don’t get it, they can develop destructive behaviors like chewing, excessive barking, or even aggression.
It’s not a failure to admit you just don’t have the time or energy for both right now. It takes courageous responsibility and respect to your dog to notice when you are no longer able to meet their needs.
Increased stress on family well-being
While pets can provide companionship, research shows that they can also increase household stress, especially in families with young children. Studies have found that while pets can offer emotional support, they can also add significant stress depending on the circumstances. If the presence of a dog is making your transition to parenthood harder instead of offering support, it’s important to acknowledge that.
The reality of rehoming pets after a baby
If you’re considering rehoming your dog, you are not alone. Many families wrestle with this decision. While there are no exact numbers on how many dogs are rehomed after a baby is born, we do know that when life changes - including becoming a parent to a new child - are among the most common reasons for pet relinquishment. A 2016 study from the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), found over 1 million households rehome their cats or dogs annually. Of those, nearly 45% do so due to family or housing problems. The remainder are due to pet behavior or health issues - which makes me wonder if some of the behavior issues have to do with the change in care and attention new parents are able to give after welcoming a new baby into their life.
Rehoming for your dog
Rehoming isn't about giving up - it's about making the best choice for both your family and your pet. If your dog isn’t getting the attention, exercise, or stability they need, finding them a new home can be the most compassionate decision. According to Preventive Vet, "In some cases, rehoming a dog can help them thrive in a new and better-suited environment and is the best option for both people and dog."
Dogs need time, structure, and love. If your home can no longer provide that, another home might be able to. Many families who rehome their pets later see how much happier their dog is in a home that better suits their needs.
Rehoming for your family
Adjusting to parenthood is already a major transition. If the added stress of managing a dog is negatively affecting your mental health, your relationship, or your ability to care for your child, it’s okay to consider alternatives. As one parent shared, "This mum used to judge people who gave up their pets for their babies - until she had to do it herself."
How to rehome responsibly
If you decide that rehoming is the best option, you can do it in a way that ensures your dog’s well-being:
- Reach out to rescue organizations: Many breed-specific and general rescue groups can help place your dog in a suitable home.
- Use personal networks: Share your dog’s story with friends, family, and community groups (churches, social media) to find a loving home.
- Be honest about their needs: Providing potential adopters with clear information about your dog’s temperament and habits ensures a better match.
You are not alone - and you are not a bad person
We live in a culture that tells us we should be able to "do it all" --- raise kids, keep pets, maintain careers, and stay sane. But that’s simply not realistic for everyone, and it’s okay to adjust when things aren’t working. If rehoming is the best choice for your family and your dog, it is not a failure - it’s a responsible, compassionate decision. Parenthood is about making the best choices for your family, even when they are difficult.
No matter what you decide, give yourself grace. You’re doing the best you can, and that is enough.