It’s just how I was raised
Uncovering and rewriting the beliefs you didn’t choose - but still carry
By the time you’re five years old, you’ve already internalized most of your subconscious beliefs about money, safety, and self-worth.
Not because you understood finances or made a conscious choice - but because you felt them.
Children don’t just listen to what adults say about money.
They absorb how adults feel about it - the tension, the scarcity, the fear, the overwork, the guilt, the secrets.
And unless you’ve gone back to rewire those inherited beliefs, chances are they’re still running the show.
Why limiting beliefs stick (even when we know better)
Biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton, in The Biology of Belief, explains that the subconscious mind - which governs 95% of our behaviors - is programmed in early childhood. Once beliefs are embedded, they become automatic filters that shape what we notice, how we respond, and even what we believe we deserve.
That’s why you can intellectually believe that self-care or personal development is important…
…but still say I can’t afford it when the opportunity arises.
It’s not your logic speaking. It’s your nervous system.
Trauma-informed practitioners like Dr. Peter Levine and Dr. Gabor Maté show that our relationship with money is not just cognitive - it’s somatic.
If your body associates spending on yourself with guilt, disapproval, or fear of instability, it will sound the internal alarm - even when your higher self says Yes.
This is especially true for women. We’ve been told, implicitly and explicitly, that we are the caretakers, the providers of love, time, and energy - but not the recipients of it.
So investing in ourselves feels… threatening.
Or frivolous.
Or selfish.
Even though it’s the very thing that would shift everything else.
Naming the belief is the first step to reclaiming power
You can’t shift what you haven’t named. Start here:
Ask yourself:
- What was said about money in my home growing up?
- What was felt - but not said?
- Who in my life modeled what I now fear or admire about money?
- How did my caregivers talk about women who spent money on themselves?
You might uncover beliefs like:
- “You have to work hard for every dollar.”
- “If I spend money on myself, I take away from my family.”
- “Money will make me selfish.”
- “I don’t know how to handle money well.”
Each belief is like a thread. Pull on it. Follow where it leads.
And ask: Is this actually true? Or just inherited?
Recommended books for rewriting your money story
These books are powerful companions for the inner work of reclaiming your relationship with money:
- We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers
A direct, no-fluff guide to women claiming wealth unapologetically. - The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
A compassionate look at money as a sacred resource, not just a transaction. - Overcoming Underearning by Barbara Stanny
Especially relevant for women who struggle with chronic undercharging, over giving, or self-sacrifice. - The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
Accessible insights into how beliefs, behaviors, and history shape our financial lives. - You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero
A fun, punchy take on wealth-building and belief-shifting from a personal growth perspective. - Killing Sacred Cows by Garrett Gunderson
Invites the reader to question inherited beliefs in order to build a relationship with money rooted in freedom, trust, and alignment with their individual true values.
Journal prompts to reflect & rewire
Use these prompts to get honest and compassionate with your inner financial world:
- What does “investing in myself” bring up in my body?
- Whose voice do I hear when I think about spending on personal growth or wellness?
- Where in my life have I said “I can’t afford it,” and what was actually holding me back?
- What kind of woman do I become when I do choose myself—and is she unfamiliar or intimidating?
- If I trusted that money flows in as I grow, what would I say yes to?
Click here to read Part 3: "The ripple effect of self-investment" in The worth of a woman
Explore:
- Why investing in your personal development (not just professional) changes everything
- The energetic and practical power of money as a tool
- How sovereignty over your finances becomes a legacy for your children, your community, and your future self